First Date

I wish I could remember the exact date of our first date, kind of makes me mad that I can't! Just one of my many regrets for never writing it down. Anyway, we had our first date sometime in August of 2003. Keep in mind, that Jonathan is living in Peoa with his parents, which isn't terribly far away, but not real close either. So, he drove from Peoa down to American Fork and back up to Peoa for our first date. Yes, I met some his family on our first date! It was a little weird, but you have to realize our process to get married needed to progress a little faster than most considering his time on earth was short. So, for our first date, we went horseback riding up in his hometown of Peoa. He didn't talk much on our first date. I occasionally asked questions and got a yes or no answer was about the extent of our communication. While we were riding, it wasn't a big deal because it's hard to talk on horses unless you are riding right next to each other, which we weren't. He rode in front, and the horse I was on followed behind. I didn't mind Jonathan riding behind the whole time. Jonathan did have a nice wrangler butt! :) So at least I did have a good view, even if he wasn't saying much. So, up to this point the date wasn't terrible, he just didn't say much. After we went riding, we went and ate at the Polar King in Oakley. Let me give you a background of this awesome part of the date though. Jonathan's 2 younger brothers needed to go clean out some horse stalls somewhere in Oakley (it was their job that they were paid for). I don't know how it came about, maybe because they didn't have enough cars for everyone to take, I don't know, but it was decided that  his younger brother would take Jonathans car and drop us off to eat and then run up and clean stalls and come right back and pick us up. Well....he dropped us off, we ate, we sat, and we sat, and we sat...for 3 hours until his little brother came to pick us up. So, I sat there with a kid that wouldn't talk to me with nowhere to go because we didn't have a car for 3 hours! When his brother did come to pick us up, Jonathan was not too happy and he basically took them home and drove me all the way back home to American Fork. Needless to say, I pretty much thought in my head, I will never go out with him again! He wouldn't even talk to me! I was left it almost silence watching the TV at the Polar King for 3 hours, it was not the best first date to say the least! I am not much of a talker, so for me to be asking all the questions and not getting much of a response except for yes or no was a big deal! I needed someone that could carry a conversation with me! Come to find out later, his brother purposely left us there that long, maybe trying to be funny, I don't really know why he did it! I will have to ask him one day. Also, come to find out the reason Jonathan wouldn't talk was because he was super nervous. I was his first date after coming home from his mission. Obviously, it didn't end here though. I did give him a second date...

Dream

So, this is not the post about our first date, but I really wanted to share this randomness on here before I forget about it. The other night, I had a dream with Jonathan in it. I love when I have dreams and Jonathan is in them because it makes me feel like he still watches over me and knows what is going on in my life and is aware of me and that makes me feel better because not being able to see and talk to loved ones that have passed on is one of the hardest things about them being gone. So, I feel like dreams that I have with him in them are my way I can still see and talk to him.
So, I had this dream the other night and the jist of it was that he was coming home from a mission and all of his family was there and all of my family was there and it took awhile before I got to talk to him because he seemed to be really busy doing things, but when he saw me he took me off to a private place and I just started crying to him saying I hope you don't hate me for getting married while you were gone and having kids, it doesn't mean I love you any less. He said back to me why would I be mad, I still love you, I love your kids and I am just like their dad.
I seriously woke up super happy because I do sometimes think in the back of my mind does Jonathan hate me for getting remarried and I am sure he doesn't. He knows that I needed to move on and have a happy, successful, and enjoyable life. It doesn't mean I love him any less. He always will hold a special place in my heart that nobody will ever come close to.
Anyway, I just wanted to write this down so I did not forget my dream. I always feel more comforted and closer to him when I have these type of dreams. I feel like he is aware and cares for me still even though he is on the other side.

Continuing on...

So continuing from where I left off on my last post. After Michael had mentioned dating his brother, I didn't ever really think it would happen, because his brother still had a about a year left on his mission. I continued to go dancing every Saturday with my friends and doing my thing. I still talked to Michael and danced with him occasionally, we never mentioned anything more about his brother. Me and my friends occasionally went to the Omni in Provo on Thursday nights for country dancing and up to Trolley Square on Wednesday's for dancing too. We did that on the weeks we were real bored. So you can see as much dancing as I was doing, I was really enjoying it, mostly 2-step and the cowboy cha cha.
Well, one night dancing in the summer of 2003, Michael came dancing and told me that his brother would be home in a couple weeks and he was going to bring him dancing so I could meet him. I was like what the heck, I thought your brother still had like a year left. Well, he did, but he hurt his knee and was coming home for surgery and physical therapy. Just a side note, Jonathan was first called to Panama on his mission, he wasn't there very long when his knee gave out one day while walking down some stone stairs. They sent him home because they thought he needed surgery then, but just needed physical therapy, so after physical therapy they sent him back to the Texas Houston East Mission, and once again he hurt his knee again. From my understanding from Jonathan the church won't send you back out if you come home twice just because it gets to be too expensive, so he was home for good this time.
I wish I could remember the details of Jonathan going to the doctor etc. and what the end problem was with his knee, but I don't. That is the bad thing about trying to write this from my perspective only. It would be a lot easier with him here to help me out on the parts I don't remember as well. Anyway, I don't think he ended up having to do surgery maybe just physical therapy, but I am not quite sure. So, one night that summer of 2003, I want to say either in July or early August, Jonathan showed up with his brother Michael at dancing. We were introduced, I could tell right away that Jonathan was pretty shy, but immediately I knew I wouldn't mind going out with him! I thought he was good looking and what isn't to love about a cowboy! We went dancing every week for several weeks before Jonathan ever asked me out. I think we danced occasionally from the time we met until our first date. We didn't talk much other than hey and our small conversations while dancing (remember he is pretty shy). I think we had talked about that it would be fun to go riding since I hadn't rode horses much. Finally, (I think with a little coaxing from his brother Michael) Jonathan asked me out on our first date sometime in August of 2003. He asked me to go horse riding up in Peoa (his hometown). Yes, I met his family on the first date! Yikes! But our relationship did need to happen fast considering his life was cut short on earth. The date was a bit of a disaster, not a total disaster, but had some disaster parts. Let's just say, I wasn't really planning on going out with him again after the first date. First date to be continued...